Breath of Life
by berley
Summary: All I knew was that for the first time in my life, I wished for death. I longed for it because I knew it would be the only release from the pain I was going through.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I am not claiming to be S. Meyer. I am not making any profit off of this story. This is just for fun. Yeah.

**Author's Note: **I don't know if anyone is going to notice, but I actually posted this story before under the same account with a different pen name. I took it down when I stopped writing fan fiction, but read over it today and saw that it did have promise. It's revised slightly, but yeah, here it is. I want to see if I can actually finish it this time around. Let me know what you think!

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**Breath of Life**

_The door opened again, and the cold wind suddenly gusted through the room, rustling the papers on the desk, swirling my hair around my face. The girl who came in merely stepped to the desk, placed a note in the wire basket, and walked out again. But Edward Cullen's back stiffened, and he turned slowly to glare at me. His face as absurdly handsome, with piercing, hate-filled eyes. For an instant, I felt a thrill of genuine fear, raising the hair on my arms. The look only lasted a second, but it chilled me more than the freezing wind. He turned back to the receptionist. _

"_Never mind, then," he said hastily in a voice like velvet. "I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." he turned on his heel without another look at me, and disappeared out the door. _

_I went meekly to the desk, my face white for once instead of red, and handed her the signed slip. _

"_How did your first day go, dear?' the receptionist asked maternally. _

"_Fine," I lied, my voice weak. She didn't look convinced. _

I had to take a trip to my locker before going to my truck, and my sudden need to get out of the office was the only thing that made my legs move, directing me down the hallway towards my destination. I just couldn't shake the look Edward gave me, and it normally would of frozen me in place.

Since it was my first day I didn't have a lot of homework, if any, so I didn't need to bring many books home with me. That didn't stop me from taking my time at my locker. I knew that the parking lot was now full of students and potential staring and I wanted to avoid that as much as possible.

I really hated being new to school, but what I hated even more as that I could not get that glare Edward had sent my way in the office out of my head. It sent a similar chill don my spine just thinking about it, so I busied myself with dropping off my books and then tidying up my locker, which didn't have much in it in the first place.

After I had stalled at my locker for as long as possible I headed to the parking lot, deliberately walking slowly down the halls, eventually leading up to me tripping over my own feet right before I got to the main doors. The lot was empty, thank the Lord, so I headed for my truck with a bit more confidence knowing that no one was watching. The cabin of my truck was cold when I got in, slamming the heavy door closed as soon as I sat down, tossing my bag on to the passenger seat. I was distracted, a certain person was still the center of my attention and reflection.

How could someone hate me so much when they had not even spoken a single word to me? I didn't say or do anything to provoke such hostilities, but I knew from the glare he kept casting my way that he was less than impressed with me. No, it was definitely more then that. He must have simply just loathed me. But why?

The more I thought about it, the more frustrated and confused I become. Soon enough I was sitting in my truck fighting back tears that were threatening to emerge. This frustrated me even more because I couldn't believe that I was crying over something like this. Over his approval of me.

It was the sight of my own breath that made me realize how cold it was in my truck, signalling that it was a good time to turn on my heater. I tried to get a grip over myself, blinking back the stupid tears and placing my hands on the steering wheel of my truck. I had to get home, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. I wasn't ready to face Charlie because I didn't want him to know how upset I was. I didn't even have a proper explanation for how I was feeling, so how could I expect myself to give one to him?

My shivers told me it was time to go home. There was no point sitting here freezing my tail off for no reason. I reluctantly placed my keys in the ignition and just was about to start up my truck when I heard a knock on my window, making me jump right out of my seat and cursing out loud from the shock.

Edward Cullen was standing outside of my truck.

I felt like I had forgotten how to breathe for a moment as I just sat and stared at him. He stared back at me, the expression on his face quite blank. After what felt like an eternity of being frozen in place Edward made the motion with his hand to roll down the window. He wanted to talk to me, I just didn't understand why.

After blinking a few times and remembering to take in a standard breath of air I did what he asked and rolled down my window nearly all of the way.

"Bella Swan, right?" Edward asked.

The expression on his face was not as horrible as it was in biology, but his jaw was clenched and his posture so stuff that it brought back that familiar fear that shot through me in biology. All I could do was nod my head. It took a few moments for Edward's face to soften, but the difference was only slight.

I was all of a sudden wishing that someone else was in the parking lot with us, but as I glanced around I took note that I was still alone with him.

"Yeah, what do you want?" I asked, not meaning to sound so rude. He had caught me by surprise and I was trying to hold my ground.

"I'm Edward Cullen. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself earlier, we had biology together." he told me, offering a small smile.

Now that he was standing right in front of me, not giving me the glare of death, I had the chance to see how beautiful he really was. It was nearly breath taking.

"I know," I said, blurting it out before thinking about the words coming out of my mouth.

An awkward silence fell between us followed by a frustrated expression on Edward's face.

"I wanted to ask if you could help me with some stuff for biology. I was otherwise occupied with something else and missed most of the notes. I'm afraid that I am quite lost on what we are doing."

He was so formal, and his voice was extremely smooth compared to the grimace that seemed to grace his features again. I looked into his eyes, which were still dark and cold, and even though the expression scared me, it didn't stop me from nodding my head again. Luckily for him I paid extra attention and took detailed notes.

"Yeah, I have my notes in my bag," I told him.

I saw an opportunity to possibly confront Edward if I helped him with his school work. I wanted to know why he was so hostile in biology. Though, I also knew myself too well and could tell you right now that it wasn't going to happen. There was something about him that made me desperate to gain his acceptance.

"Would you mind going through them with me?" he asked, his features softening even more, nearly making me melt in my seat. "Or are you busy?"

"No, I can go through them with you now," I quickly said, nodding my head again. "Did you want to use the library or something?"

"They don't like it if students linger after school," he told me. "Did you want to take a walk somewhere?"

Edward was suddenly opening the door to my truck and I silently cursed myself for not locking the door when I first climbed in. My truck worked as a nice barrier between myself and Edward, and it vanished as soon as he opened the door.

I looked around again to see that we were still alone in the parking lot, and even though the nerves in my stomach told me to drive away, the expression on Edward's face told me to grab my bags and join him. I did what Edward wanted, closing my truck door behind me after I swung my school bag over my shoulder.

Edward made me so nervous, but that didn't surprise me at all. He was gorgeous, and I wasn't used to speaking to guys who looked like him. He was tall and slim, but as my eyes gazed over his arms I was reminded of how muscular he was. I had to take a few more deep breaths in before I could even form words or figure out where we could go.

"There are a few benches at a park over there," Edward said, gesturing past a bunch of trees that were off school campus.

I looked in that direction and shrugged. I didn't remember a park being anywhere near campus, but I hadn't been in Forks for so long that I couldn't rely on my memory of the town. Something told me to offer the cab of my truck, it did have heating.

"Lead the way," I told him, ignoring my instincts.

Edward nodded and started walking towards the exit of the parking lot. I followed him and we walked in silence towards our destination, Edward always staying just one step ahead of me. I caught him looking at me as we walked, but it was more like the glare that he had given me in biology instead of the smile I had received just minutes before. It was only for a second, so I wasn't sure if I was just imaging things or not.

Soon enough we reached the trees and I started to wonder where we were going. I looked around and couldn't help but notice that we were out of sight of any roads or buildings now, and that Edward was just leading me deeper into the forest. The nervous jolt in my stomach got stronger and soon enough I couldn't help but stop in my tracks. Why was I freaking out so badly?

Edward didn't noticed that I had stopped and walked ahead of me for a few more paces before stopping in his tracks as well. He didn't turn around. He wasn't carrying a school bag either. How was he going to work on biology when he didn't have any of his school stuff?

"There is no park past here," I said. I tried to keep my voice firm, but it came out in a tremble.

Edward didn't say anything either, and the silence in the trees with us was almost defining.

"I know," Edward breathed into my ear.

He was suddenly behind me, making me jump. It was then that he grabbed my and when I went to scream his hand clamped over my mouth, making me inaudible. His skin was ice cold, and it made me instantly shiver as I struggled against his rock hard grip. I was pressed against his body, which was just as cold as his hand and within seconds I felt a piercing pain on my neck.

I was helpless against him. I couldn't even let out a whimper as a burning sensation started from where he bit me and only increased as the seconds tricked by.

One moment I was clutched against Edward's chest, the next I was submerged in a bewildering amount of pain. I forgot where I was, what had just happened to me, and could only focus on what I was feeling. My body had a hard time comprehending what was happening to it, and my mind wasn't keeping up either.

It was indescribable and I had no way of screaming out, Edward's hand must have been still covering my mouth. I couldn't feel his ice cold skin anymore, all I felt was the burning that seemed to take my body and smash it into a million pieces. I was sure that my skin was melting off my bones and I was at the point where I just stopped struggling all together. I couldn't. I gave up.

I don't know how long I was on the forest floor, it was my screaming that let me realize that Edward's hand wasn't covering my mouth anymore. I couldn't see anything, and I barely head the shouting that was happening around me. Someone, or something was at my side, but I couldn't tell what. I didn't care. All I knew was that for the first time in my life, I wished for death. I longed for it because I knew it would be the only release from the pain I was going through.


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't know what was making me feel worse, her screaming that seemed to make my stomach clench in pain every time I heard it or the intense guilt and disgust I felt because of what I had done.

I could still taste her on my lips and my entire body pulsated at the feeling and memory of what she tasted like, how her blood made me feel. Just thinking about it made fresh venom form in my mouth and I shuddered with shame at the thought of wanting to hurt her again. Of wanting to hurt her again. I felt terrible for what I had done, but that didn't stop my body from thirsting for more. I had lost myself during those few moments in the forest and turned into the very creature I was fighting to ignore.

I had nearly gotten out of the school and away from her, that was until I saw her in the office at the end of the day. I was trying to get my classes switched, I wanted to do anything I could to get away from her but her blood practically haunted me.

I nearly took her right there in the office, it took every ounce of self control to walk away from her. Unfortunately that was my last strand of constraint.

I got out of the building as soon as possible and drove my siblings home. Alice was worried about me but my mind was otherwise occupied. I was thinking about the different ways I could get Bella Swan alone, without actually planning what I wanted to do to her. I knew that she was the daughter of the police chief, and that there was no way he would be home from work right now. She would be alone in her house, powerless to stop me from getting to her there. Finding out where she lived would be easy, and then I knew that it would only take moments after that for me to have her.

As soon as everyone was inside the house preoccupied with their own hobbies I jumped out of my bed room window and headed straight for school on foot. I stopped dead in my tracks when I spotted her truck still in the parking lot. The monster inside of me nearly shuddered in anticipation when I noticed that she was sitting in her truck.

Alone.

It didn't take long to convince Bella to take a walk with me. Even though I saw fear in her eyes, it was easy enough to talk her out of her truck and into the forest. Once we were completely and utterly alone I made my move, but I made the mistake of not killing her right away. I got selfish as soon as I felt her blood spill over my tongue as it quenched that never ending burn and thirst that I constantly felt. I wanted to keep the blood warm, and I wanted to hear her heart fight for it's next beat as I sucked the life out of her.

My time with Bella was cut short. It was Emmett who knocked me away from her first, he was the only one who was strong enough to hold me back, now that I had a taste of her. I nearly escaped Emmett's grasp and lunged at Bella again, but Jasper got in my way as Alice went to Bella's side.

Every human part of me was gone, and I was blind with rage and thirst the entire way back to our house. I don't even know who took Bella, or how we got her inside while she was screaming and writhing in agony without being noticed by someone.

It was too late to do anything about the bite. Carlisle had no choice but to let Bella transform, if she could survive the entire process.

My entire family was in the room with Bella, watching her through her transformation. I sat on the floor in the farthest corner from Bella like the coward I was. I couldn't look at her, I couldn't look at any of my family. I was ashamed beyond belief and didn't want to face what was about to come.

"None of us are perfect, Edward," Emse said in an attempt to comfort me, but I just ignored her and wallowed in my misery, listening to the desperate cries escaping Bella.

I wanted to get out of the room, get away from everything but I knew that would just make me look more pathetic. Alice was at Bella's side, holding her hand as Carlisle tried one more time to administer morphine to Bella. Unfortunately for her his attempts were too late. The needle couldn't even penetrate her veins.

Rosalie was standing in the opposite corner that I was in, casting me scornful glares and even worse thoughts my way. She had every right to be angry. My loss of self control, even though it was only for a moment, could cost us everything.

_We are not going to judge you for this, Edward._ Emmett thought.

I didn't even look up at him, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that Emmett would be sympathetic towards me, he had lost control before as well, but he had killed the human. My whole family would be sympathetic towards me, I knew that for a fact, but that didn't stop me from feeling any less ashamed.

My entire family stayed with Bella through her transformation, with the exception of Rosalie who came and left as she pleased. Alice stayed faithfully at Bella's side, holding the hand of a girl that she didn't know at all and comforting her as best as she could through the pain. We all knew what Bella was going through right now, and that any type of comfort was no match for the pain she was enduring, and had been enduring for days.

"So when are we leaving?" Rosalie asked, her voice louder than normal to ensure she was heard over Bella's moans and screams.

"What are you talking about?" Alice asked, looking over at Rosalie from her spot next to Bella.

"Well, obviously we are going to have to get out of here! It's been two days and Bella Swan has been reported missing!" Rosalie said, now yelling. "She is the police chief's daughter and who knows who saw you with her!" Rosalie was now directing her yelling at me, and I simply cowered more in the corner I was sitting in.

"No one is going to suspect us. No one saw Edward with her," Alice said in my defence.

"Well we have been missing from school for the last two days, won't that look suspicious!" Rosalie shot back. She then looked and pointed at Bella. "And what are we going to do with her! She can't be seen in Forks after she changes!"

"We have not decided if we are leaving yet," Carlisle cut in, he was calm like usual. "I think we should wait until Bella is conscious, and talk to her before we decide on what we are going to do. All of you have missed days of school before, it isn't that out of the ordinary." Rosalie went to argue again but Carlisle shot her a look that kept her quiet.

"How much longer, Carlisle?" Emmett asked. If I wasn't mistaken he actually looked somewhat excited.

The thought of Bella being fully turned and having to face me made my stomach turn.

"Not long. She has gone through most of the transformation," Carlisle answered.

_Did you want to be here when she wakes up?_ He then privately asked me.

I debated for a moment, thinking about escaping while I could and leaving this for everyone else. Though, that was the thing, I couldn't do something like that. I had started this, and now that Bella was changing I was going to have to deal with it and finish it. I nodded my head to Carlisle but stayed in my corner of self pity.

It wasn't like we had never done this before. Carlisle had to explain what we were to each and every one of us, but this time around we also had to explain to Bella how she had a choice, that she didn't have to be turned into one of us.

No, we didn't have to do it. I had to. As much as I didn't want to, I knew it was something that I was going to have to deal with. I had helped Carlisle explain everything to Rosalie, Emmett and Esme, I knew the protocol and the right words to say, but things were completely different when you had to explain to someone that it was you who did it to them.

How did you tell someone that you took their life away and replaced it with this pathetic excuse for a new one just because you didn't have the discipline or self control to stop yourself from giving in to your most selfish and monstrous desires? It was impossible, but I was somehow going to have to do it.

"Are her thoughts getting clear at all, Edward?" Carlisle was suddenly asking me. "When they do, that will definitely give you the upper hand when it comes to dealing with her." Newborns were always dangerous when they first were changed, they were extremely strong and strung high with emotions of what just happened to them. I was just about to nod my head when I remembered the one thing besides her scent that had frustrated me the most about Bella, I could not read her thoughts.

"I couldn't hear anything from her at school," I said simply. Everyone turned to look at me, a confused expression on their faces.

"What do you mean by that?" Esme asked.

"I mean just that. I sat next to her in biology and I couldn't hear anything. It was like her mind was completely blocked from mine or something. I don't know why, but I just couldn't hear her." Carlisle looked deep in thought for a moment before he paced around for a moment.

"That certainly is interesting. You have never encountered someone that you couldn't read before," he said before standing still again. Carlisle was completely right, I had not met a single being in my entire existence whose mind I couldn't read until I met Bella. I also had not met anyone whose blood tempted me so badly as Bella's did.

"Carlisle! I think she is coming to!" Alice said, excitement was now in her voice. Carlisle quickly made his way to the table that Bella was laying down on, but as soon as he got there his movements became cautious.

"It looks like she is. I don't hear a heart beat anymore. Alice, I think you should back away from her for now," Carlisle warned, and Alice did was she was told. Everyone in the room seemed to perk up, even Rosalie looked like she was interested in what was about to happen.

The sound of Bella sucking in a sudden gasp of air caused my family to step away quickly, but it actually caused me to stand up from the position I was sitting in for nearly three days straight. My eyes were locked on Bella's body that stayed laying on the table, not moving. Alice took a cautious step forward at the same time I did, and Jasper was suddenly at her side, an arm out to protect her if needed.

Then in movements so quick that only our vampire eyes managed to catch them, Bella was off of the table and in a protective stance, her crimson eyes looking at all of us. Jasper and Emmett were in front of everyone a second later, I was at their side before even thinking about what I was doing. Silence fell over the room as we simply stared at her, and she looked back at us, her body frozen in place.

"Bella?" Alice asked in nearly a whisper, but it was that noise that caused Bella to twitch slightly and look directly at Alice. The two girls locked gazes for a second before Bella suddenly started looking around, then she looked down at her own hands before they reached up to feel her face.

"What happened to me? What am I?" Bella's posture relaxed completely, but that was only because dry sobs started coming out of her.

Alice suddenly pushed past Jasper to walk up to Bella, ignoring Carlisle's sudden protests. I clenched my fists as I watched the scene, Bella was obviously confused and scared and I desperately wanted to help her in some way, but I had no way of going about it. I had a feeling that an apology wasn't going to work right now.

"Bella, my name is Alice. Now...something happened to you that we need to explain. Please, don't be scared," Alice started to say as she stood right in front of Bella, but the girl wasn't paying any attention to Alice, her gaze came to me and her eyes instantly widened as she stared at me. I could read her expression perfectly, it was fear and soon enough she pointed a finger in my direction, confirming my thoughts.

"You!" Bella exclaimed, her eyes not leaving mine. "You did this to me! Why did you do this to me?" Bella was sobbing again, but no tears came out of her eyes. Even though I fully deserved what she said, her words still startled me. I took a step forward towards her, and then another step back, not knowing what was best to do. Alice was trying to calm her again but it only made Bella yell more. "Get away from me! Get _him _away from me!"

"You should step out until we calm her down." Carlisle's hand was suddenly on my shoulder and even though the expression on his face was still soft, I knew what he said was an order, not a suggestion.

I nodded to him and looked at Bella one more time, which I immediately regretted because the sight of her struggling, trying to cry as she screamed and yelled caused a huge wave of guilt to shoot through me.

I was out of the room a second later, shutting the door behind me but it didn't stifle the sound of Bella's sobs and struggles as the rest of my family tried to talk to her.

_I guess we better start packing_ Rosalie thought as she left the room as well, sending a deathly glare my way before she walked up the stairs and out of sight.

My fists clenched again with frustration and anger that was directed right at Rosalie, but I didn't dare move from my spot. What Rosalie said was true, and she had every right to be angry. I put our entire family in danger, and I ripped Bella away from her own life that she probably loved and definitely not ready to leave.

She was innocent, and I had condemned her to a life that she didn't deserve.

I really was a monster.


	3. Chapter 3

Time didn't have any meaning anymore.

I forgot who I was, where I was or what had happened to me. I couldn't tell you what day, week, or even month it was. The only thing that I could concentrate on was the endless raging burn that seemed to devour my entire body. There were times when I thought I couldn't move, that the fire inside of me had spread into my throat and rendered me speechless, but I could still hear myself screaming, feel my body try to push away the constant weight that had been put on top of me.

When I thought my body couldn't take anymore, the pain doubled. I thought something like that would be impossible, that I physically just wouldn't be able to live through it, but some how I did. I cursed my heart that continued to beat through this torture. I wished and prayed that it would just give out and end my misery.

I could hear myself begging for death. I did it numerous times in between my constant screaming and struggle. I wished that I had never been born, I wished that I had never existed because everything I had done and achieved in my life, every one that I loved was nothing compared to this pain. I would trade it all just for a moments piece, just a second where my body could be free from this agonizing affliction.

There were times when I thought I was in hell. I thought I had died and for some reason whatever higher power was out there thought I needed to be punished. This must be what hell was. Hell must be where I was because there was no other explanation for what I was going through. I still couldn't remember how I got here, or what I had done to get me here but it must have been terrible. I must of done something extremely horrible and inhumane to deserve this, but I just couldn't remember what.

Another endless amount of time went by, and then something changed. I could tell that I wasn't on the forest floor anymore. I could remember the forest, but I still couldn't remember how I got there, or why I was there in the first place. That didn't matter because all I was concentrating on was trying to see where I was. If I had that small thing to think about, it could possibly take my mind off of the pain, even if it only was just slightly.

I was definitely inside, in a room. There were figures around me but I couldn't see who or what they were. There was more than one, and they were talking but I couldn't make out what they were saying. They could be speaking Chinese or gibberish and I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. Then I started to get more control over my body. I was still thrashing about, but I knew what I was doing, and if I concentrated hard enough I was pretty sure I could stop. I didn't want to, though. I didn't have the strength to do it.

I could tell that there was someone leaning over me now, but I still didn't know who it was. And then, like this figure was some sort of savoir, my personal hero, the fire slowly retreated from my palms. My hands were left pain free, and this feeling nearly sent me into shock. It was only my hands, but the relief I felt was so indescribable that it gave me some extra strength to move on. My cries and screams calmed down a bit as the same relief washed over my feet and ankles.

Though, as soon as I was granted this one appeasement the fire raged on as strong as ever in my chest. The pain doubled, then tripled and I could feel and hear my own heart pound harder than ever to try and keep up. My body jerked out of my control and I let out another moan of pain.

"Carlisle! I think she is coming to!" the figure that was leaning over me said. Her voice was angelic, like someone was singing. Then, before I could think about her any longer I felt my heart pick up pace even more, if that was even possible, before it stopped. The pain was gone, and I was sure I was dead.

"It looks like she is. I don't hear a heart beat anymore. Alice, I think you should back away from her now." Alice. My saviour's name was Alice. Where had I heard that name before? Wait. Did that mean I wasn't dead? If I was I dead that meant I wouldn't be able to open my eyes, so I did and what I saw, felt, heard and smelled all at once made me gasp for air.

Everything was different.

I felt like I had been reborn because it was like I was seeing for the first time.

Clarity.

That was the best word I could come up with in my pathetic vocabulary to describe what I saw. It was like I was seeing colours and shapes for the first time. There was a light shining down on me that would have been blinding, but I could still see everything around it perfectly. I shifted my eyes to the ceiling and couldn't stop staring at it for a few moments because the details I could work out and see amazed me. I momentarily forgot that I was inside of a room because I heard a car drive by, or at least I heard something that sounded like a car driving by, but then the elaborate ceiling above me reminded me that I was still in a room. Where I was, I had no idea.

Then I heard them. I heard people breathing and I realized that there was more than one person in the room with me. I instinctively wanted to protect myself and before I even fully realized what I was doing I was off my back and standing, crouching down. There were seven people in front of me, four males and three females, two of the males standing at the front. I closed my eyes for a bit longer then a standard blink, then simply stared. I actually recognized five of them, but I couldn't place from where yet.

"Bella?" The smallest one asked, and her musical voice reminded me that she was the one who was at my side.

Hearing someone for the first time seemed to open a flood gate of noises, and like when I first opened my eyes, it was like I was hearing for the first time. I could hear each and every single intake of breath exactly at the same time, but I could pin point and separate each one as well. It was confusing at first, the girl speaking to me and hearing everyone breathing, as well as the ticking of a clock that sounded like it was in another room. I heard the familiar sound of a car driving by again, but that was impossible since the high way was too far away. Everything was so confusing, each sound ran into the next like an echo or vibration in my head.

Bella. Was that my name?

Yes, that was my name, and her name was Alice. I looked up at Alice and the beauty of her face made me freeze in place. I had seen that face before, along with the two men standing in front of the rest. And the beautiful blonde...and the bronze haired boy. It was extremely frustrating at first, but my body trying to figure out what it had just gone through suddenly look over my thoughts.

I looked at the group again and wondered why they were standing like that, like there was some danger in the room. Then a second later I realized that danger was me. The frustration that I felt increased and caused a pounding sensation to start thumping in my ears, like an uncontrollable anger. It was then when I felt the raw burn in my throat, and that was what set me off.

"What happened to me? What am I?" I asked as I started sobbing, but the tears I was so used to didn't come which scared me even more. I was gasping for breath, but it felt wrong. I felt no relief from it. Something was wrong with me. Something was horribly different and it terrified me.

"Bella, my name is Alice. Now...something has happened to you and we need to explain. Please, don't be scared." Alice started to step towards me, but I ignored her.

I was looking at the people behind her, and then it hit me. School. My first day at school, however long ago it was. Days, weeks, hours, I did not know. I did know these people from seeing them in the cafeteria. I looked at the bronze haired boy and I was suddenly hit with a rush of memories. His name was Edward, he was in biology class and he hated me. And then he needed help with some notes and we were walking into the forest...and then all of a sudden I was consumed with fear. He hurt me. He was the one who did this to me.

He was a monster.

"You!" I was shouting, my anger and sudden rush of emotions taking me over. "You did this to me! Why did you do this to me?"

The uncontrollable tear less sobs were back, which just frustrated me even more. The pain in my throat ached more and I didn't even realize Edward had left the room until I was suddenly alone with Alice, a blonde boy who a second later I remembered as Jasper and another blonde man that I had never seen before. At least I was pretty sure I had never seen him before.

"Bella, I know this is hard to comprehend, but we need you to calm down," the blonde man said, his voice extremely soft and soothing. I suddenly felt a little calmer, but it felt like it was out of my control. I then looked over at Jasper and gasped again.

"When did you get those scars? I don't remember you having scars at school," I said before I could stop myself.

It felt like I had lost control over my emotions, over my entire body. The scars all over Jasper's body scared me, he was perfectly fine when I saw him in the cafeteria. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I was worried about my tear less crying, then about everything I was hearing and seeing, and now I couldn't get over the scars all over Jasper. What had happened to him?

"You just didn't see them, Bella," Alice told me.

"How did you get them! What happened to you?" I demanded, my breathing was increasing even though it did no good for me.

"Bella, that is what we need to talk to you about, but we need you to calm down as much as you can so you can listen to what we have to say," the blonde man said, his voice as smooth as silk. I suddenly felt at ease again, and even though it felt like I couldn't control it, I invited it. Once I had stopped breathing so hard and stood still, the man spoke again.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen, this is Alice, and that is Jasper. My wife and other children are in another room. I thought it best to introduce them later."

"What is wrong with me? Please tell me what is wrong with me," I interrupted, my emotions getting the best of me again.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Bella. You are just different now, you were changed unintentionally." Carlisle explained. Alice's hand was now on my shoulder, but I didn't flinch away at her touch.

"He did that to me. Edward tried to hurt me, he did this to me." My outbursts were like word vomit, uncontrollable and unexpected. Carlisle didn't say anything for a moment. Maybe a fraction of a second, but it felt like minutes to me.

"Bella, this entire family is different, and you have been changed into one of us." He decided to ignore me, and I would of pressed on but another wave of calm emotions ran through me and kept me quiet.

"What am I?" I asked, my voice now shaky. Another moment that felt about a hundred times longer than it actually was. I could tell that Carlisle was being careful with his words, so I expected the worse. I was dead. I knew it.

"Society today likes to call us...vampires, but I would like to tell you right away that we are much different from the common legends and folk lore."

I was silent for a few moments, definitely longer then a fraction of a second, but not nearly as long as a few minutes. _Vampires_? I must have been dreaming, but then again that pain I had gone through just moments ago was too real to be a dream. I sat in silence and was surprised at how calm I was staying, but I didn't fight it at all. Being calm was good. When I was calm I could actually think.

"Vampires?" I asked stupidly. "That is what I have become? That is why I-" but then I was distracted by the light behind Carlisle. I swore I saw a rainbow reflected from it and it nearly made me gasp.

"That is why you are...different," Alice finished my sentence for me.

"I thought I had died. I thought I was in hell, that pain...I thought it would kill me," I found myself mumbling as I watched and was fascinated with the light.

"I am so sorry for that, but it is an unfortunate thing that we all go through when we change," Carlisle said, his voice sounded sincere.

"Why? Why did I get changed? What did I do?" I was suddenly asking.

"This is why we need you to stay calm. I will get to that, just let me explain everything," Carlisle said. My eyes went to his face, his glorious, youthful and beautiful face, and I had to concentrate very hard on what he was saying instead of letting my eyes gaze at his fascinating blonde hair.

And then Carlisle explained everything. He told me that he didn't know how it all began or how long they, wait, we had been around. He told me about how vampires needed to drink blood to live, but that they chose to drink the blood of animals instead. The ache in my throat was my thirst, and it would be as strong as ever for the first little while. He explained about how we could go out in the day, but couldn't be in direct sunlight. I listened intently and only needed to be brought back from my constant distractions a few times. I felt so rude, but Carlisle seemed to understand.

"We get distracted easily. It will be something that you will get used to." He constantly said.

There were times when I still didn't believe what was happening, that this still was a dream. There were also moments when I didn't want it to be real, because I realized that I wouldn't be going back to Forks high school, or back to Charlie and Renee. This fact alone sent me into another fit of dry sobs until Jasper hesitantly put his hand on my shoulder, and I felt calm again.

"We learn to control our thirst so that we can live and interact with humans. It takes time, and discipline which can be at times hard to maintain. That is what happened to Edward. He didn't intentionally try and hurt you, Bella. Edward would never do that, but there was something about you that he just couldn't ignore. He pulled you aside and bit you before he even knew what he was doing, you have to understand that." Carlisle was done defending Edward, but his explanation didn't stop me from nearly shuddering when he said his name. The memory was already faded, but I could still hear his voice in my head clear as a bell, right before he took me and sank his teeth into my neck. He wanted to kill me, and that thought haunted me.

"We can teach you this discipline, Bella. There are more like us out there, and there are rules that we have to follow," Alice suddenly said. I looked at her, almost forgetting that she was there.

"Bella, we don't want you to be alone. You can stay with us and learn from us for as long as you like. I would actually prefer it if you stayed, there are laws that you need to be taught." Carlsile said.

"What laws?" I asked, now confused. Vampires had laws?

"That, we can tell you later. I think you have been exposed to enough right now," Carlisle said. He then looked at Jasper. "Do you think she is ready to meet everyone?" I glanced at Jasper and then back to Carlisle with a confused look on my face. "Jasper has the ability to influence emotions. He has been keeping you calm this whole time."

"Good thing I was here. Bella, you were all over the place, but that is expected," Jasper said in his deep voice. "I think she will be okay," he then added. A moment later the door to the room we were in opened slowly and the rest of the Cullen family filed into the room. Carlisle walked over to the first woman who walked in with a smile on his face.

"This is my wife, Esme," Carlisle introduced, putting an arm around her waist. Jasper and Bella stayed on either side of me, and Jasper made sure to keep me calm and relaxed.

"Hello," I said somewhat awkwardly, not really knowing what else you said when you were meeting a family full of vampires that you were suddenly a part of. Maybe.

"This is Rosalie," Carlisle said, gesturing to the blonde girl who was so stunning I nearly gasped again. She offered me a smile and a wave and I could tell that she felt just as awkward and afraid as I did. "Beside her is Emmett," Carlisle said. Emmett offered me a smile that was much bigger then Rosalie's. I of course knew who all of these people were, I saw them at school, but it was completely different being introduced to them now that I was a...vampire. "And this...this is Edward." I had not realized that Edward had not been looking at me since he had entered the room until my gaze fell on him. He didn't smile at me, and my look at him was just as indifferent. Fear overcame me again but I did my best to control it, and Jasper did what he could to help me.

As awful as the expression on his face was, he look absolutely miserable as he practically cowered away from me, he was just as beautiful as the rest of his family. Each and every one of them were stunning, even more than when I first saw them at school. I stood there after being introduced to everyone in silence for a moment, soaking it all in.

"So Bella, we are the Cullen family and we can be your family...if you will take us," Carlisle said with a smile, facing me now.


End file.
